When I joined Brindavan for my graduation in early 1990, my family had limited knowledge about Swami. However, the stay at Brindavan hostel had a deep imprint on my thinking and personality as I was deeply involved in the self-reliance activities of the hostel. Like all students, I too had a deep desire to be physically near Bhagawan. Seeing students or teachers set up the mike for Swami, open His car door or be in His room, I also had the sacred desire of basking in His divine proximity. While this seemed like a distant dream for the three years of my stay in Brindavan, little did I know that all these dreams would be realized in a month during my trip to Kodaikanal.

January 1993

We, Brindavan boys, had gone to Parthi for the Annual Sports and Cultural Meet. Before returning to Brindavan, we were invited by Swami for a special session in the Bhajan Hall. I was about to complete my B.Com course that year and Swami had never spoken to me till date. I had given up the idea of getting close to Swami as I would even miss the opportunity of getting Prasadam from Swami in Trayee – an opportunity that all students enjoyed whenever Swami was in Brindavan.

That day during the Bhajan Hall session, Swami asked everyone for their grades as the previous semester results were recently announced.

I was seated in the fourth row and Swami asked for my grades. Fortunately, this was one of the rare occasions in which I had scored an ‘O’ Grade. When Swami heard that I had scored an ‘O’ Grade, He remarked, “Good boy”. I gave a very surprised and confused look as I wasn’t sure that Swami had called me a good boy. Seeing my confused look, Swami confirmed in Tamil, “Yes, you”. That year Swami had given an Ambassador car to each of the campuses during the sports meet. Swami had instructed that the warden and one of the boys who had injured himself during the sports meet use the car while returning to Brindavan instead of traveling by bus. Incidentally, I was taking care of this boy as he was unable to move around due to his injury. Just before we were leaving, Swami sent instructions that, “There is a boy in the hostel who wears spectacles and has been taking care of the injured boy. That boy should also travel in the Ambassador car with the warden and the injured boy.” For almost three years, I was worried if I even existed for Swami and now He had remarked that I was a “good boy” and sent a message acknowledging that He knew me! As they say, when He gives and how He gives is known only to Him.

March – April 1993

I had plans to stay in Brindavan to prepare for the MBA entrance exams after Swami left for Kodaikanal. Typically, the capacity of the Kodai group, selected by Swami, was around 30 students. With 17 MBA boys whom Swami had been interacting with along with other Bhajan boys, it did not even remotely seem that I would be considered by Swami to be part of His group. 

On 31 March, I found myself outside the Trayee building given the surging crowd of students who had filled the Trayee Hall. I suddenly got a call from one of the teachers that I was required to be inside Trayee. I had no clue what was happening inside. Apparently, my name had come up during the  discussion on the Kodaikanal ‘list’ as Swami was looking to change the names that had been proposed. When my name came up, Swami had told the teachers “Yes, I know this boy. He wears spectacles. He is in his third year. He chants Vedam and has been trying to get a Prasadam opportunity from Me in Trayee. He sits in Trayee near the fan.” For a student who feels that he doesn’t exist for Swami, this is evidence that Swami knows each student like the back of His hand! Is He not the indweller in all of us!

The Magical Month

So here I was out of nowhere on a month-long trip with Bhagawan. Swami, we all know, is an extremely caring host. He gave us Nivea Cream, soaps and a camera to set up a memorable vacation with Him. It was cold in Kodai and the drop in temperature wasn’t suiting a couple of us. I had regular bouts of vomiting at night. In the morning session with boys Swami enquired, “Yesterday, one boy was vomiting, but he did not want to disturb others. Who is that boy?” I somehow did not have the strength to own up and kept quiet. Luckily, the other brother who was suffering raised his hand. Swami instructed him to take care of his health and remarked, “There is one more boy who was vomiting, but he is not coming forward.”

The omnipresence of the Divine is suffused with care and He was just about to show how He cares for us individually. Kodaikanal dining tables are long ones with Bhagawan’s chair at the center. He usually walks around to share a quick word or two with boys and other guests. That morning He came to me and silently said, “Have only Idli”. He knew I was ill and He was being a caring mother for me. This brief form of interaction continued through all the dining sessions that day. At lunch time, He came close and remarked, “Have only curd rice and buttermilk.” Similar instructions were given to me at tiffin time. Through the day, I started to feel better. Hence, at dinner time and He came around to my table and said, “Eat what you want now!”

On another occasion, Swami had fallen ill. It was clear that Swami was running a temperature. One could just feel the heat sitting near Him. Dr. Alreja who was part of the trip had the opportunity to measure His temperature and reported it to be 104 degrees!  We all gave a ‘suggestion’ to Swami to cure Himself. Swami said He would not do that. One of the elders with all his devotion prayed to Swami that if all boys pray together, Swami should respond to the prayers and cure Himself. Swami was pleased with his devotion. In Bhagawan’s very presence then and there we decided to have a silent prayer for two minutes. All boys chose to close their eyes. However, I decided to pray to Swami keeping my gaze on His form. Those two minutes were ethereal and will remain with me for eternity. Swami was exchanging gestures with me as all others had closed their eyes. He was pointing out to me through gestures who all were not praying properly or weren’t closing their eyes fully. At the end of the two minutes Swami declared, “You can all open your eyes, the temperature has gone down now!”

It was just amazing to see that Swami’s disposition had completely changed and He was back to His cheerful self in two minutes. All of us were happy. Anil Kumar Sir in his devotion remarked, “Swami, due to the temperature you have not taken any food. No human could have taken such trouble.” Swami promptly replied, “Anil Kumar, do you think I am a human?” It was an elevating experience to witness Divinity cure a human ailment as an answer to our prayers.

The First Promise

Bhagawan had been observing that I don’t take tea or coffee – the beverages that were offered during breakfast and tiffin time. What followed is a wonderful memory that will remain with me for the rest of my life

“Don’t you like to have tea or coffee?” He enquired one day.

“No Swami. Since childhood I have avoided them as per my mother’s advice.”

“Good, I too don’t have them. But you can have Bournvita – that is not bad for health. Would you like to have it?”

Saying this, He walked into the adjoining kitchen and came out, in a few minutes, followed by the cook who was carrying a glass of Bournvita milk. The cook gave it to me.

“Taste and see how the sugar is,” Bhagawan remarked. It was apparent that not only He had gone inside the kitchen to arrange Bournvita, He had taken the pain of mixing the sugar Himself!

He then remarked, “I will always give you Bournvita.” This was a word Bhagawan had given then – I will come back to this later.

I Will Take Care

One day, unfortunately I broke my spectacles. During those days Kodaikanal had not developed into a tourist place and lacked many amenities. Swami seemed very concerned. He called one of the elders and asked to get the spectacles repaired by the next day. The gentleman replied that it may take a day or two as it had to be sent to the nearest town. Swami wasn’t interested in excuses. “This boy cannot see Me properly. Ensure that you get the spectacles fixed by tomorrow.” The elderly gentleman had to deploy all the resources available to ensure that the spectacles reached the next day. He gave it to me and I said “Sir, Swami has given these to you. It is better that you hand them to Swami only to give me! Do let me know how much I need to pay you for getting this done.”

The elderly gentleman was too devoted to Swami to take money from me. He gave me the spectacles and did not want to entertain any of my suggestions. Swami was visibly pleased seeing my spectacles back. I informed Swami that the gentleman had refused to accept the payment for the repair. “Keep quiet! You are in My care. I have to take care of your eyes.”

It was another promise that Bhagawan had made which He would honour years later.

W-A-T-C-H

Materialisations are always an attraction on a Kodai Trip and the 1993 trip was no different. Swami blessed me with a ring with the divine syllable ‘AUM’ inscribed on it. The word AUM is of significance to me as interestingly this was the first proper word I had ever uttered. As a child, I had taken time to speak and AUM was the first word I had uttered properly even before learning to call out my parents. However, this ring seemed to be too tight for me. In fact, it was so tight that my finger was turning blue due to the ring. I showed it to Swami. He asked me to remove it and in His own inimitable way, converted this ring into a three- diamond ring that fitted me properly. He then turned to another person in the group and created a watch for Him. He looked at me and joked, “Jealous! You also want a watch!” I prayed at that moment internally, “Bhagawan, give me the blessing to not have a physical watch but the WATCH that you expect us to develop – the ability to watch our Words, Actions, Thoughts, Character and Heart.” As soon as this thought ran in my mind, Swami looked at me lovingly and said, “I will give you that watch.” No one understood the conversation but this was yet another promise Bhagawan had made to me on that trip.

The Lord Keeps His Word Always

“You have the ability to observe yourself, Mani!” remarked my boss years later during one of my performance appraisals. “That is a unique quality of yours,” he appreciated. My thoughts went back to that afternoon in Kodaikanal. It is His blessing that Swami had given me the WATCH He had promised. Someone senior in the professional world was valuing my ability to self-evaluate and do course correction as required. It is a WATCH, I value and am grateful for.

Bhagawan had also told me that He will always give me Bournvita. I take Vedam classes for Sri Sathya Sai Schools across the country. Maybe because I have narrated this incident often or even otherwise wherever I go, invariably I am offered a glass of Bournvita milk! 

The ring that He blessed me with was a talisman that saved me not once but twice. Once during the sports meet a couple of years later, I was helping in digging the ground. One brother was using the shovel while I was helping in removing the earth. Someone in fact suggested that I remove the ring to avoid it getting damaged. Fortunately, I did not take the advice. In the heat of the moment, the brother hit the shovel before I could remove my hand from the pit and the shovel landed on my finger – luckily the one with the ring. The weight of the shovel and the strength of the blow was sufficient to have damaged the finger, but the blow was absorbed by the ring and I lost one of the diamonds on that ring.

Few years later, I joined a job in Gujarat. A senior alumni brother and myself were working together – it was a holiday and we were on his scooter for a daily chore. On our way back, we met with an accident that was potentially fatal. This brother sitting behind me lost his balance and toppled and the scooter fell on me. There was a heavy truck behind us. While the truck managed to swirl away from us, the truck actually went over my hand! There is no way I can describe scientifically or through logic how nothing happened to me. The blow on my hand was yet again taken by the ring. The entire truck had gone over my hand but my hand was hardly bruised. The entire blow was again absorbed by the ring – only this time the blow was many times larger than the shovel. The ring, however, was completely damaged. I decided that I would keep it in my altar and offer my daily prayers to the ring given that I could no longer wear it. One fine day, the ring just disappeared from my altar – did I misplace it? No way. Could someone have stolen it? No. I didn’t even have a domestic help back then nor did anyone visit my room. The ring was a blessing given with a purpose and probably had returned to Swami after having served its purpose.

My work a few years later took me to Mumbai. I used to be actively involved in Seva activities. On one such occasion, we were trying to refurbish a rural school and I was physically trying to break a boulder as part of the weekend service. The hammer being used by me was heavy and people around warned me to be careful. However, in my enthusiasm I chanted Sairam and heaved the heavy hammer onto the boulder. The hammer hit the boulder and the friction not only broke the big rock, but also created sparks and splinters that fragmented and flew towards my eyes. The spectacles, as the first line of defense, were completely shattered! As my eye got hit, I fell in pain. The brothers around me got worried and enquired if I was ok. “Are you able to see?” enquired a brother. The fact was that I was unable to see! I was able to feel the sharp glass pieces and small pebbles from the boulder had entered into my eyes and they had gone right up to the top of the cheekbone. I did not panic, but requested to be taken to a water tap nearby. I washed my eyes and felt better. Slowly, my sight got restored. That day I went to the optician to fix my spectacles. The ophthalmologist present there enquired how did the lens break so badly. I narrated the entire incident vividly to him. He heard in sheer astonishment and remarked, “Are you sure all this happened the way you describe – the way you are saying it, your eyes would not have survived this freak accident” His words, took me back again to Kodaikanal! I was reminded of the promise Bhagawan had made. “You are in my care. I will take care of your eyes.”

For fourteen years after that trip to Kodaikanal, Swami chose to keep me physically distant. He hardly spoke to me after that trip. In 2009, I accompanied the Mumbai Ashaadi group with a Vedam team that I had the opportunity to teach. When Swami saw me, He gestured to those present there indicating that He recognized me as “our student”. I was informed much later that Swami had spoken about me inside Yajur Mandir. Swami was very pleased that I had been involved in teaching Vedam to devotees. He had said ‘My Boy’ is teaching Vedam to many devotees. Physically, it may appear that He is far away, that He has left us or even forgotten us. But He continues to be silently overseeing us and gives us only glimpses of His omniscience and Divine Love. Let me conclude with a memory that carries a profound message for all His devotees. One day in Kodaikanal, we were all huddled around His Lotus Feet. Bhagawan picked up a letter from a bundle collected from devotees. To the human eye it appeared a random choice but with Providence there is no randomness. Swami showed the envelope to us covering the writing partially and asked us to read. It read ‘devotee’ with Swami’s hand covering the adjective that was written to describe ‘devotee’ Now, Swami held it the other way and this time the word ‘devotee’ was hidden while the adjective was now visible. We were able to see the word ‘bad’. What had happened was that this devotee, out of a feeling of guilt, had described himself as a ‘bad devotee’. Swami remarked, “dekho ra, jo bad hai woh devotee nahi; jo devotee hai woh bad nahi hai.” If we belong to Him, no sin can stick to us. Hence, we may not demean ourselves if we are constantly engaged in His thoughts and work. However, to truly belong to Him, we need to pass His test of purity. Hence, in Swami’s dictionary there is no “bad devotee”.

Praying to Swami that His memories remain etched in our hearts forever and His universal message reaches each soul.

Samastha Loka Sukhino Bhavantu

About CBS Mani
Brother CBS Mani completed his B.Com in 1993 from the Brindavan campus of Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. He also earned his post-graduation in Financial Management (MFM) in 1995 from the Prasanthi Nilayam campus.