If I am asked to describe Swami in one word, that word would be love and no other. Never has anyone walked on earth who could love so many, so much and so unconditionally…..

“When I lost myself in the beauty of thy smile, the beauty of the world was stripped bare and I saw it’s evanescence;

As I sat enchanted, hearing thy speech, the call of the world faded away and I knew its hollowness.

When I was moved to tears by thy compassion, the flawed love of the world was revealed and I understood its limitations.

As I experienced thy love, I knew I had found in thee my Lord, my Master and my God”.

1976 : The Journey….

The journey started in 1976 when as a school boy I sat in the portico of this heavenly looking peaceful abode in the midst of a stony desert and looked up in wonder as a red robed Swami glided over and asked me “Neil! How are you? ”. Two emotions flooded my young mind. I felt I had known this ‘person’ for a long time, He seemed so familiar. Secondly, the wave of pure love and compassion which flowed out like powerful rays from his eyes engulfed me like a warm rug on a cold blustery night.

After that, trips to Prasanthi Nilayam came thick and fast during every school holiday. And with each trip, the yearning to finish my matriculation and study at Swami’s lotus feet grew stronger and stronger. Memorable days are the ones spent in the summer courses held in Brindavan from 1977 to 1979 before joining Swami’s college. Between the spirituality classes in the College Auditorium, morning and evening hours used to be spent in the back stairs of Swami’s bungalow (in the passage between his dining room and retiring rooms) where a few  college students would be waiting for Swami to suddenly fling open the doors and smile, talk, tease and distribute sweets and fruits.

1979 – 84 : The sunshine of Bhagawan’s presence….

Brindavan Bungalow those days had a charm which cannot be put down in words – tall shady trees around which boys would move around, glimpse a window Darshan when Swami playfully parted the curtains of the first floor rooms and closed them again until it was time for Him to descend down the stairs to the narrow  Bhajan hall where the windows were cramped by boys who had reserved their seats by waiting for hours. Birds would be chirping on the boughs and deer would be running about in the enclosure at the front of the Bungalow garden under a beautiful and often cloudy Bangalore sky. Evening Bhajans would be a close affair with Swami sitting amidst the boys, often playing the ‘taalam’ and selecting the songs he wanted the boys to sing.

The education was like a side dish, as we enjoyed Bhagawan’s presence like famished gluttons in a princely feast. The great lessons of life were thus learnt in those glorious years in Brindavan. The selfless love and compassion for His devotees, the simplicity of His life, His inimitable way of imparting an ‘Advaitic’ Truth by a ‘Chinna Katha’. These could fill up volumes and still would be incomplete.

Once I was down with chicken pox. Swami asked the warden why I was not there during bhajans the previous evening.

That morning I was very weak and fell down in the bathroom. Coming back to my isolation room I was feeling quite desolate and asked Swami in my prayers why He had abandoned me!

After morning darshan in Sairam shed, there was a sudden commotion in the hostel and someone came rushing and shouted that Swami has asked for me.

On rushing out, I found to my amazement that Swami had climbed up two floors and was waiting for me. He lovingly gave me padanamaskar, vibuthi and with a mischievous smile said… “why do you doubt swami will abandon you.” Needless to say, I wept almost the whole day thinking of the Lord’s love and omniscience. I don’t recollect Swami going up to the second  or third floor in our hostel again in all the years I was in Brindavan. Moreover I was in the infective period of Chicken Pox – but Swami did not bother about the infectivity.

1984 – 86 : Puttaparthi – the abode of the Avatar

Puttaparthi is different from Brindavan as chalk and cheese. If Brindavan was His playground, Prasanthi Nilayam was His Avataric Abode. If in Brindavan, the timings for Darshan and daily routine were more relaxed, in Parthi with its crowd of devotees thronging the Ashram, Swami’s timing would be more regimentalized, so to speak. Over the years, one has seen the stony bare terrain of Puttaparthi transform into the gardens and greenery of Prasanthi Nilayam. Many of us would frequently climb the hills around Puttaparthi and explore the caves around the hills. Once perched high on a mountain ledge beyond the River Chitravathi, looking over the whole valley, I thought how apt that Swami had chosen this region for his Avatarhood.

The distant stony hills, bare of vegetation and glittering under the scorching sun could well have been the land where the great Prophets Moses and Mohammad preached. Nearer, the landscape punctuated by tiny streams, drying lakes and patches of resilient shady trees could well have been Judea where Lord Jesus Christ travelled loving, comforting and transforming people. The beautiful and serene Chitravati flowing by the town with its shady banks and the grazing cattle could well have been the banks of the river Yamuna where Lord Krishna played his flute and mesmerized the Gopikas. It was a scene which remains etched in my memory even now….

1986 and Beyond : The Destination…

Many a time Swami had told us in those early days that there would once come a time when He would no longer be so physically accessible to His students and devotees and we may only just get a glimpse of Him on occasions; we hardly believed Him then. Over the years, this is what has unfolded before our eyes and I realized He was preparing us to forge a deeper and stronger, mental and spiritual connection with Him.

Many years later when I was practicing in Guwahati as a cardiologist, one evening a frail middle aged lady came to my chamber complaining of shortness of breath. On investigation a congenital hole in the heart was detected. I was a bit confused whether to advise a surgery or to continue medications as many such conditions become inoperable with age. I told the lady to return after a couple of weeks after prescribing a few relevant medicines and thought of advising some advanced investigations to determine whether she was fit for operation.  During the next visit , the lady said her Guru appeared in a dream and had bid her to tell me that an operation is not required and to continue medications from me. He also told her that He knows her doctor very well. I was stunned, humbled and in Bliss when she said her Guru was none other than Sathya Sai Baba of Puttaparthi. That is how He makes His Omnipresence felt even 20 years after I had left Prasanthi Nilayam.

About brother Neil Bardoloi
Dr Neil Bardoloi did his PUC and BSc from 1979 to 1984 in Brindavan, and MSc (Physics) from 1984 to 1986 in Prasanthi Nilayam. He is a Cardiologist and manages a hospital in Guwahati – Excelcare Hospitals. He continues to be engaged in service activities of alumni in Assam.