It was 7.30AM on a Sunday morning in 1983. All the students in the hostel were getting ready to go for Darshan. That is, all students except the first batch students of Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. I too was part of this batch and as students of the five-year integrated Master’s program we were required to participate in a weekly service activity at the Institute as a part of the newly established integrated curriculum. As expected, we were all very unhappy to miss the Sunday morning Darshan. If we had been going to do Grama Seva or something similar, it may have been a little more glamorous, since we would have the satisfaction of pleasing Swami with our ‘service activity’. But we were required to go to the institute and remove weeds and stones from the pathways. Weeds that would grow back by next week and stones that were infinite so we could never completely get rid of them. It seemed so pointless. It took me nearly two decades to understand that the spiritual lesson for us to learn was to have the discipline to do what the Divine Master has asked us to do and not what we desire to do. 

The twelve years of my life in the Divine presence was studded with several such life lessons, some that I learnt while in Parthi and others that I understood much later. It was a spiritual journey that my brother Maheedhar and I traveled together to experience boundless love and compassion from Bhagawan.

Vedam with Vedapurusha

I was mesmerized by the ambience of the ashram and loved the daily routine filled with Bhajans, Darshan and other activities. When Swami came to the old hostel where the students were living, I saw that one of my classmates garlanded Swami and a few students chanted Vedam in front of Him. I too wished for such experiences. In 1981, a few others and I had an opportunity to learn Vedam. Being the only group of Vedam boys at that time, we had numerous occasions to chant in front of Swami for several years. The most memorable opportunity was being part of the procession on the 60^th Birthday of Bhagawan. Imagine our surprise when Swami served us all breakfast in the Bhajan hall prior to going out to join the procession, since we had gathered there by 6.00AM. This was one of the numerous times I experienced Swami’s love for His students and attention to detail in spite of the fact that everyone was seeking His time and attention and that nearly 100,000 devotees had gathered in Parthi for the joyous occasion. 

Personal connection

As time rolled by, I found myself increasingly interested and involved with reading Sai literature, volunteering in Hostel activities, and so on. These kept me from being depressed despite a development on the personal front. My mother was diagnosed with cancer and our family had a tough time coping with the issue. I used to regularly write to Swami praying to Him to cure my mother. She had a surgery and recovered after three years of chemotherapy. However, the cancer recurred in a few years, and I was again praying to Swami to bless her. During a Sunday morning Darshan, Swami once came near me and made a hand movement as if to throw something at me. Out came large marble sized sugar candy! He instructed me to mail it to my mother, who was at that time hospitalized in Chennai. 

Om Sri Sai Aarti Haraya Namah! (Salutations to Lord Sai, who is the dispeller of distress)

Bhagawan used to regularly inquire whether I had received any communication from my mother.  On the days when I had, I used to tell Him how she was doing. Most days, there was no such letter, but Swami would nevertheless keep asking me. In retrospect, I think that was His way of letting me know how much He cared. One day, I received a letter from my mother saying that she was in great suffering and was continuously praying to Swami. She advised me to place complete faith in Swami and also to keep praying to Him. That evening when Swami asked me if I received any news from my mother, I handed the letter to Him. Swami took the time to read my mother’s entire letter, and gave me a few comforting words and Padanamaskar. Later, during evening Bhajans, Swami called me to Him. In Telugu, He said, “Send word to your mother that she has abundant grace of Swami.”  Those words gave enormous comfort to my ailing mother who was alone at the Adyar Cancer hospital in Chennai. Once, I wrote to Swami praying for Him to bless my mother who was by herself. Swami read the letter as I gave it to Him and chided me for thinking that she is alone. He said, “Am I not there with her?”

Sai, the wish fulfilling tree

Maheedhar was finishing 10^th grade and wanted to join the higher secondary school at Parthi. However, he was studying in Telugu medium and a new rule had been made that only English medium students would be eligible for admission. Everyone in my family was praying to Swami to somehow take my brother into His fold. I used to regularly write to Swami with this prayer that my brother should also become a Sai student. In the summer of 1986, I went to Brindavan to plead with Swami. I managed to sit right next to Swami’s chair in the Trayee session and gave him the letter that my mother wrote, praying for Maheedhar’s admission. He read the letter and told me that there is nothing He can do since ‘rules are rules’ and He cannot override them! As if she was prompted by Swami, a lady devotee nearby told Him that He is God and therefore He can do anything He wants to.

The next morning during Darshan, He told me to go back to Parthi and apply for admission. I went to Parthi, but couldn’t do so until Swami directed Habbu sir, the then Principal of Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School. Swami returned to Parthi after a few days and one morning called me and Habbu sir for interview at the same time, during which He told Habbu sir to let my brother take the admission test. My brother was able to join the higher secondary school and eventually graduated with a Master’s degree in Commerce. 

Grief and Grace 

Meanwhile, my mother was bedridden and suffering from rapid advancement of the cancer. I was praying to Swami to save her from the pain she was going through. One evening, Swami asked me to send word to her to come to Parthi and that He would give us an interview. From that day on, Swami made it a point to come by wherever I was sitting in the verandah and ask me if my parents have arrived. A few weeks later, when they arrived, Swami gave an interview to our family during which He blessed my mother profusely. He mentioned that it is entirely due to the intense prayers from my mother that He graced my brother with an opportunity to study at Parthi. 

A few days later, as Swami was returning to the veranda after finishing evening Darshan, He pulled out a letter from the bundle in His hand and gave it to me. It was a letter that my mother had written thanking Swami for all the grace and blessings He showered on us. As my mother was nearing her end, Swami wrote to her assuring her that He would take care of her children and their futures and that she should spend her time thinking of God. Soon, my mother passed away peacefully knowing that Swami would keep His promise. After my mother’s funeral, my brother and I went to Brindavan to have Swami’s Darshan. Swami spent several hours with us consoling us and assuring us that our mother has merged at His lotus feet. We were engulfed by intense grief, and only Swami’s love kept our family from falling apart. He ensured that we were taken care of in every aspect. Around this time, I graduated from the Master’s program and was admitted to the PhD program in the Mathematics Department. 

Bhaja Govindam

We all have heard about Swami’s acute awareness of our emotional needs and wellbeing. In 1987, Swami had the PhD students stage a drama called ‘Bhaja Govindam’. He spent a lot of time attending the rehearsals and directing the drama. I was originally given a minor role that involved weeping over a dead relative as Sri Sankaracharya preached about detachment. The moment Swami saw that scene in a rehearsal, He immediately changed my role to a different one. In His infinite compassion, He didn’t want me dwelling on personal loss and hence made the change. No detail was small for Him. It is only much later that I understood Swami was taking care of each and every one of the students (and devotees) in the same manner. 

Swami continued to shower His grace and blessings and I received my PhD degree from His divine hands in 1990. After I finished my PhD thesis defense, I was waiting in the Mandir for further instructions from Swami about my future course of action. I was hoping and praying for an opportunity to join the Mathematics Department as a faculty member. Within a few days, Swami sent word asking me to teach. To me, that meant an opportunity to be with Swami for the rest of my life! However, Swami had different plans and within two years, I found myself taking leave from Swami and moving to IIT Kanpur as a research associate. 

Swami’s divine hand was at work even as I moved to Delhi and later to the United States. He continues to guide us and guard us. All of us, as a family, are forever indebted to Bhagawan for the infinite compassion and grace we received and continue to receive.

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Prof. Gnana Bhaskar is currently Professor of Mathematics at the Florida Institute of Technology, Melbourne, Florida, USA. He has served in the US Sri Sathya Sai International Organisation (Region 3) as President for four years. He continues to serve in the local Sai Center’s activities.