In 1976 my father (an officer in the Indian Air Force) was commissioned in Guwahati. Around that time he made a visit to Puttaparthi to have Swami’s Darshan and returned with a gramophone disk of Bhajans sung by Swami. Swami’s voice singing bhajans, such as Govinda Krishna Jai, Madhura Madhura Murali Ghanashama, and Chittachora Yashoda Ke Bal, filled our home every day.

These left an indelible mark on my subconscious mind; perhaps a call from my Divine Mother that it was time we came to Her.

Soon after, in August 1978, when I was all of 7 years old, my parents and my younger brother (Dr. Pankaj Punetha, currently serving at Swami’s Whitefield Hospital), guided by an esteemed devotee reached Ootacamund, or Ooty, a hill station in Tamil Nadu). Swami’s school in Ooty, Sri Sathya Sai Vidya Vihar, Nandanvan, had started about six months prior with classes 1 and 2, and, at the time, was looking to start class 3. Though I was a student in class 2 in Gauhati, the then principal of the school, Mrs. Verma, asked me to be a part of class 3.

The shortlisted students were called for an interaction with Swami. As I opened the main door of the building’s hall, I saw Swami standing there in his bright orange robe, wearing rubber shoes (as He would in those days), with bright eyes and a half smile, as if expecting us. Before I realised it, I was a member of a blessed group of about hundred students in the school that was starting a wonderful journey. Swami, to us, was God, just as our parents and teachers, He had His own place in our lives. There were no doubts, no questions to ask! Such is a child’s innocence, though curious, it is all accepting. Wide eyed, we looked at our Swami with a sense of awe. A calmness seemed to envelope all present when He was in our midst.

Magical interactions, precious memories

Placed in an extremely well-maintained building, our classroom had a fire place reminiscent of old British architecture. But more importantly, the room was right next to the staircase that lead to Swami’s room on the first floor. We could sense it when Swami walked down the staircase. We’d swell in anticipation as He entered the class. On one occasion, our teacher was distributing pencils to all of us in the class and Swami started helping her, and then He quietly made His way out as if it was normal. We saw our overwhelmed teacher and sense in our own little ways that we were recipients of His grace.

Our daily schedule was to go to bed early. On some days after evening Bhajans, Swami would call us to the Bhajan hall and ask the boys from different states to sing Bhajans. In our night dresses, wearing woolen caps, our Lord amidst us, we waited for Him to call our home state. “Assam se kaunhai?” Swami would say; some hands would go up. “Achcha, sing a Bhajan.” Excitedly, we would start in our high-pitched voices, and Swami would be so happy. My first memory is of singing Shiva ShivaShambhoTandavPriyakarbefore Swami. I fondly treasure those enchanting memories.

After completing class 5 at Ooty, our batch came to Parthi and we waited for Swami to guide us further. We all joined the Eswaramma School for class 6 and 7, and thereafter joined the higher secondary school in 1983. All through this time, we lived in the senior boys hostel. Although for 10-12 year old kids to stay with college brothers could seem daunting, we lived with Swami, and were all always enveloped in Sai love. When I recollect those amazing times, each day was a gift and each moment with Swami was an experience. Yet through it all, He prepared all of us for our life’s journey, which He has scripted, and in which He is our constant companion and guide. He understands what is best for us and has a unique time frame for us all.

Yearning for proximity

During my higher secondary school days, I had the chance to join the Bhajan group. Realizing that there were better singers than me, and not wanting to miss out on the bounty of love that Swami showered on the Bhajan boys, I started focusing on the harmonium.

In 1988, I joined the Brindavan campus for B Com. Though initially it was hard for me to come to terms with the physical distance from Swami, the super bonanza was the Trayee sessions, and the opportunity to immerse myself into music, meant that I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Brindavan. However, at Brindavan, I truly learnt to pine for Him, to prepare something to present at His lotus feet, and then live for that charming smile on His face. By His grace I was able to compose Bhajans and songs and offer them back to Him.

It was during that time that the Brindavan boys started going to Parthi during the Sports Meet. We would prepare something every year to offer to Swami and after performance, Swami would bathe us in His love. We would be so full of that experience that right after we came back we would start planning for the next year. Beautiful times!

Why ask when he knows what we need

In 1990, during Swami’s 65th birthday celebrations, a few Brindavan students were planning a Tandav dance for the Convocation Day program. Swami oversaw the preparations and would call the dancers, singers and musicians everyday into the interview room between Darshan and Bhajans. He would point at students specifically and call them in, day after day. Somehow, He completely ignored me. There is a point till which the heart accepts, then the mind takes over and despondency sets in. In such times, one tends to go more inward and rely on the Swami within. Nonetheless, the despondency led to a lot of silent suffering; missing a few meals, praying and hoping that He would call me in the next session.

The next day, the same thing happened. He didn’t call me in. I moved to the 1st row of the Bhajan hall (near the interview room door), silently wailing at the knob of the interview room door for the next 40-45 minutes. After a while, the Lord opened the door and walked into the Bhajan hall; He came and stood right in front of me. I carefully reached out to gently hold onto His feet; yet He continued to look at the rest in the Bhajan hall behind me. My hands and my heart that had longed to be at His lotus feet were now there. With His toes, He began to play with my fingers gently, His expression still not giving anything away to anyone including me. He did that for a good 20-30 seconds, and then went out of the Bhajan hall, as if nothing had happened. This gesture from Swami left me completely overwhelmed and at the same time repentant that I had questioned him. The heart took over the mind again, the weariness from skipping meals for 2 days was gone; my heart throbbed with the new understanding that I don’t have to ask Him for anything. He will give me what I need.

The golden period

The two years of my MBA was a time when Swami gave me a lot of attention and proximity. Since I had always flown under the radar, this was new for me. There were days when I would literally have to pinch myself, to really come to terms with the fact that my Lord was speaking to me very often. On one such day, my self-conscious demeanour and comfort zone of staying low profile made me make an unusual prayer in the Mandir. I prayed – “Swami, please don’t speak to me today. I’m unable to digest it.” That day, our dearest Swami came out of the interview room, and addressing the MBA boys said, “Today only 1st MBA boys come; 2nd MBA is having digestion problem.” Though I can smile about it today, after Swami said that, all I could think was – what a massive blunder I had committed. I started praying profusely, seeking forgiveness. After some time, Swami came and spoke to me and soothed my grief.

Such was my disposition those days that neither did I have a plan or a goal in life nor was I academically brilliant. For me, life was all about living with Swami! He would decide what’s best for me. I was so unfamiliar with the world outside that the impending viva voce exam on current affairs had me terrified. To make it worse, the faculty on the board was learned, experienced and intimidating. On the morning of the exam, while sitting in the Bhajan hall during Darshan, my heart pounding in my chest, I prayed to Swami to save the day. Swami walked in and signalled to me to stand. As He stood in front of me, I looked into His bright beautiful eyes, and poured my prayer to Him telepathically while noticing every curl in His crown of hair. He came close and said, “You are also good”.

I have no memory of what Swami told me thereafter. It was like He had injected into my soul the confidence for several lives to come. Till date, whenever I am at an important meeting or in an interview, or before delivering an important talk or in a difficult situation, I take a dip back into my reservoir of confidence that Swami had filled me with. Then I leave it all to Him.

In 1992, along with a few others, I had the good fortune to accompany Swami to Kodaikanal. One evening Swami playfully asked all seated, “Needle se kaun darta hai?”(Who all are scared of the needle?). Now, vaccinating me was perhaps my parent’s biggest nightmare. And I had carried this fear of needles well into my adulthood. I raised my hand. There were only two of us who had raised our hands, Swami looked at us and remarked “NuVu”(Are you scared of the needle?). Everyone in the gathering laughed. We often hear that Swami never says anything without it having some deeper purpose. But it’s beyond our capacity to comprehend the plane on which He operates.

After our batch completed MBA, Swami called five of us and asked us to join the Super Speciality Hospital at Puttaparthi. I was placed in the dialysis department and my job required inserting needles to draw out blood from arterialised veins for providing relief to the patients who had kidney failure. I served here, performing dialysis for four years. This was probably the last job role I could’ve imagined for myself. However, this experience has always come to my aid, throughout my career, in various functions and organisations.

In an interview with my current organisation for senior role, I was taking the interviewer through my CV which had four lines on my time at Swami’s hospital. Ignoring everything else on my CV, the interviewer asked me to talk about that very experience. As I was answering his question, passionately talking about that wonderful time, he gently interrupted me and asked if I would be open to be the CEO of a new hospital in Jaipur. I was overwhelmed! Again, I noticed His hand in play. I had prepared for the interview for a different role, and I was being offered the break of my career until date. That experience reaffirmed my belief that Swami’s ways are inscrutable. We are mere instruments and how much ever we think we can plan our life, His will always prevails.

As souls who have been touched and blessed by Him, where is the need to look for external affirmation? We always have Him firmly embedded in our hearts. The inevitable highs and lows, or ‘passing clouds’ as Swami called them, will go just as they came. But the care with which He has empowered us continues to be the reason why we are also good.

Brother Arunesh Punetha is currently the Regional Director (West Region), Narayana Hrudayalaya Limited.